Sunday, 13 May 2012

Things I'm afraid to tell you


More than one person has told me that I make them feel guilty with all the art and craft I do with Cakey and Boo... sorry, I really didn't mean to.

The mummy guilt bug gets me too: I often think we do art and craft at the detriment of other activities. Cakey shows little interest in kicking or throwing a ball around the backyard; and don't even get me started on swimming! We do a lot of craft because that is what Cakey and Boo like. I find life much more pleasant when we are doing something the kids enjoy. Having said that, there are also many days that craft is just too hard or too messy or there is simply not enough time between all the other things that need doing.

I was spurred on to write this post after I read this article from Creature Comforts. So here goes with 10 things I'm afraid to tell you:
  1. I give my children lollies with terrible food colouring in them.
  2. I still breastfeed my 21 month old to sleep (and I'm not stopping until it stops working).
  3. I let my kids watch TV while eating breakfast and sometimes lunch too.
  4. I am AWFUL at imaginary play.
  5. I yell.
  6. I rarely get the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher before 6.30pm.
  7. I detest putting clothes away, hence my house will never grace the covers of any magazine...unless that magazine is titled 'Hoarders'.
  8. Both my children have a good knowledge of junk food.
  9. I complain and whine a lot when I really have no reason.
  10. If we are not going out for the day pajamas can be day wear, Cakey is often in her pjs in many of my posts.

So if I have made you feel guilty then I am sorry. I will keep up this blog because it is fun and it motivates me to keep thinking up craft projects for Cakey and Boo. And now, I will go and have a look at some other blogs, crafty and otherwise, which will no doubt make me feel guilty!

If this is your first visit to at home with Ali – welcome. If you like it, you can follow along through our facebook page or subscribe via email or RSS. Cheers Ali

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43 comments:

  1. wow. i admire you for making these statements. i do most of them myself. it's so liberating and validating to hear it from someone else too. think i may try one of these of my own.

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    1. Thanks Andie, I was very nervous publishing this post. I really appreciate your comment.

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  2. Thanks for sharing. I feel this shows are there is no perfect mom. Each one of us are just regular moms and we do things which are not entirely idealist. It so nature to lose on some point and gain on others. And Yes we all YELL...lol

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    1. Thanks Mansi, your words mean a lot.

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  3. Great post! I'm with ya on many of these!! Kudos for sharing!!

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  4. join the club sounds like my house x i love that you are brave and say it as it is, thats one of the reasons your blog works so well, i like it because you are wonderfully honest in your writing style. great work Ali keep it up love sassy

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    1. Thanks Sassy, I do try and be honest. This post might be taking honesty a bit too far!

      It is such a relief to hear that I am not the only one.

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  5. Brilliant! Thank you, made me laugh! It's about time all mum's were a bit more honest about things :) love it! :) xx

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    1. Thank you, we can't do it all, I tend to sacrifice housework!! :)

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  6. I love it! You know, we all have different talents. I have a friend who was telling me the other day how she feels bad sometimes that she doesn't do enough crafty stuff with her kids. I said, "That's funny because I look at you and all the reading you do with your kids and I feel bad that I don't read more to my kids." She said that's what she and her kids really enjoy doing together. We decided that much of the time we assume the other person is doing all the things we are PLUS whatever they're doing, instead of remembering that they have their own strengths and weaknesses just like us.

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    1. Loved this post and this comment. :)

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    2. Oh so true, a good friend of mine was relieved to find out that I don't like imaginary play, she is so good at it but she is not all that keen on craft.

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  7. I love it. Sharing thoughts/posts like these are always so wonderful because it seems that all us mommas do SO much of the "I should be doing ..."thing. It's always good to remember that no blog post tells the WHOLE story. (like the complete mess that's right outside of the ... probably cropped ... photo of the project ... or the kids fighting in the background!)

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    1. Haha the magic of a cropped photo. I am guilty of cropping out towering piles of dirty dishes. Thanks for stopping by.

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  8. Kids really don't want their parents to be perfect, they want to be happy and to be loved. I'm sure your kids are really happy with you being their mother. :)

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    1. That is so true and kids just want our attention and time. Thanks for your kind comment.

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  9. Thanks for sharing Ali. Your post reminds me that we shouldn't judge on what we can see as there is always so much more.
    By the way, I think you are doing a great job, at least your kids will be balanced, and know that they are loved and cared for.

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    1. Thank you so much Andrea. You are right - a blog is such a small window in someone else's life.

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  10. Thanks for making it real. I am right there with most of your 10 things, and believe me I could add some more.

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    1. thank you I am glad I am not the only one.

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  11. We all need to remember that it is nice to have an 'ideal world' to aspire to - it's what keeps us going. But we are humans, we have feelings, good days, bad days and our kids are equally human and flawed too. As a mother to 2 older teenagers I can assure you I was perfect at some things and far less than perfect at others - and you know what? My kids I think turned out pretty alright for it - and tell me now that I did a good job - in spite of my quick temper when I get stressed, in spite of my working, in spite of my control freakishness, in spite of not enjoying cooking one little bit! We laughed, we went on adventures, we made art, we explored toys, we played well past the time to get dinner ready so we had to have takeout...again! That's what matters...not what we did wrong in the 'ideal world' but what we did right! Congratulations to all you wonderful mothers who get so many things right! How about you write yourself a list of 5 things every night for a week that you did RIGHT today...Love to all. Nicky

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    1. Love that idea Nicky, it is so easy to focus on where we are going wrong instead of what we are doing right.

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  12. I think it's great to focus on what he kid's love to do each day! There is only so much time and we can't always get art, sports, reading, cleaning, etc. done in a day.
    P.S. I love pj days, hardly ever get my dishes done by even the next day, and let my little guy watch TV while eating if it's been a long one! ETC, ETC. :) Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Thanks Gina, some days just go right and some days I need them to watch tv otherwise my sanity will desert me.

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  13. Ali you have made me smile and I love your honesty. We are all guilty of looking at other mums and thinking we should do better. One way of looking at it is that there are 'good enough' mums. We are all entitled to a life and we are not servants only mums!!
    I detested imaginary play too but luckily Nan Robinson was excellent at it, she could play for hours and tell the most amazing stories to J and H.
    I am going to use this blog at my parent course as I am sure they think I am expecting them to be perfect!!
    What a child needs from their mum is love, time and language, and you Ali give that in Heaps! J.

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    1. Thank you - 'love, time and language' - so, so true and so simple when put like that.

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  14. Great post Ali! Loved reading this. I agree with all of the comments above. You are a super mom and I'm sure your kids are so grateful for you!

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    1. Thanks Kristina, that is very kind of you.

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  15. haha, oh, my housework has definitely slipped since starting my blog... and, whilst I do try, I'm not the best with outdoor play. Everyone has things that make them human and we all have our things that are special about us. What you do with your kids is speacial and it's what you're good at so you'll keep doing it. Good for you :)

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    1. Aww thanks Debs, something has to give in this crazy world.

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  16. 11. Food found between the cushions is always ok to eat.
    12. Unless somebody else smells it, that nappy DOES NOT need to be changed.

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    1. I am in total agreement with both of those.

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  17. love your post, read each one on the list going Yup me too!

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    1. Thank you, I could have added more but thought I should stop myself at 10.

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  18. I love this post Ali. Honesty is a beautiful thing! We all have our strong areas, and our weaker ones. My house is definitely not one of my strong areas wither LOL

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    1. House cleaning is tedious when there are so many more interesting things to do. Thanks for your lovely comment.

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  19. Ali this was such a wonderful post. I've shared it on my wall. You are an awsome Mum and your kids love and appreciate you for it.

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  20. Are you and I possibly sisters? :D I am very guilty of everything you put on your list.

    I just happened upon your site via pinterest...off to read more:)

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  21. First time visiting your blog, but I will be happily visiting again! It's good to be real sometimes so that we all know that we are in this together. We are not perfect moms, but we are moms that do the best we can & love our kids dearly. Can't wait to check out all your craft ideas!

    PS Sometimes I think we are ready to go somewhere & then realize that my baby girl is still in PJ's. ;)

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  22. This is hilarous. Thanks for sharing. Let's all bury the irons and wear the same clothes for days.

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  23. I love the truth in the post! Bloggers are truly human.

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  24. Great post Ali!!! And we too love to stay in our jammies. :)

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